Friends With Ex
Reviewed by certified relationship advisors
A breakup is a bereavement. It follows its own stages — shock, anger, sadness, acceptance — without a fixed order, and often in spirals rather than a straight line.
What helps: Respecting your own pace. Not forcing "I'm fine" before you are. Talking to people who actually know how to listen, not just tell you what to do. Allowing yourself the no-contact period if you need it.
No contact: Not seeing or messaging your ex for a defined period. Not to punish them — to give yourself the space to actually grieve. About 30 days is a useful starting point before things begin to clarify.
British context: We can be a bit rubbish at admitting we're struggling. "I'm alright, cheers" when you're clearly not is very culturally ingrained. Allowing yourself to actually not be alright — to your closest friends, to a therapist if it goes on — is the more useful path.
The Samaritans (116 123) are available around the clock if things feel very dark.
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