All About Love: New Visions
bell hooks · 1999
Love as practice, not feeling. The book a lot of therapists quietly recommend first.
Local pick
The Relatip Library
Books we recommend
A short, opinionated list. The eight books we hand to friends asking real questions about love, attachment, and how to stay together.
Mating in Captivity
Esther Perel · 2006
Why long-term desire is so hard, and how the things that make a relationship safe can also make it dull.
Global classic
Attached
Amir Levine & Rachel Heller · 2010
The pop-psychology entry point to attachment theory. Reductive in places — still useful.
Global classic
Hold Me Tight
Sue Johnson · 2008
Built on Emotionally Focused Therapy. The seven conversations every couple eventually has.
Global classic
The Course of Love
Alain de Botton · 2016
A novel about a marriage. The most quietly devastating depiction of long-term love we have read.
Global classic
Why Does He Do That?
Lundy Bancroft · 2002
If you have ever wondered whether something about your relationship is off, start here.
Local pick
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
John Gottman · 1999
The Gottman Institute couples-therapy framework, distilled for civilians.
Local pick
Codependent No More
Melody Beattie · 1986
Older, occasionally dated — still the clearest articulation of where you end and another person begins.
Local pick